Want to have even better sex? You’ve come to the right place, my friend. We mined hundreds of MensHealth.com articles to find the all-time best sex tips we’ve ever given — plus, some advice on making your relationship as strong as possible.
Here are our 50 best sex and relationship tips. Don’t worry, you can thank us later.
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Kegels, Kegels, Kegels.
If you want to last longer during sex, you’re not alone. “Premature ejaculation is a problem that affects almost every man at some point in his life,” Thomas J. Walsh, M.D., a urologist at the University of Washington, told us.
One way to delay ejaculation is by doing kegels. Strengthening the pubococcygeal (PC) muscles of the pelvic floor will help you control your orgasms during sex. For tips on how to do ’em — plus other ways to last longer in bed — click here.
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Experiment with edging.
Another way to make sex last longer? Train yourself to delay your orgasm while you’re masturbating. Edging — the act of bringing yourself to the brink of orgasm and then stopping all sexual stimulation — is a common technique for avoiding premature ejaculation.
Lots of guys enjoy a vibrating sensation on their penis — particularly around the frenulum. A 2012 study found that 44% of heterosexual dudes have enjoyed using a vibrator at some point.
Vibrators have long been marketed to and used by women, but that’s changing. The Tenuto from MysteryVibe, for instance, is a small vibrating clip that attaches to the base of your penis; you can use it on your own or during intercourse.
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Plan a memorable first date/
Your crush has probably been on a million and one coffee dates, so consider planning something more unique — like a trip to the farmer’s market followed by a picnic, a visit to the aquarium, or a pottery class.
For more first date ideas that’ll help you stand out from all her other Tinder matches, click here.
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Find a condom that feels great..
If you hate the way condoms make you feel during sex, you might not be wearing the right ones, according to sex therapist Ian Kerner, Ph.D., author of She Comes First: The Thinking Man’s Guide to Pleasuring a Woman. When picking a condom, find one that fits like a glove, and look for rubbers that are ribbed or ultra-thin.
Condoms are highly effective at preventing pregnancy and STIs, so it’s worth finding the one that feels best for you. For recommendations on what to buy, click here.
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Do it standing up.
We promise — it isn’t as complicated as it seems.
Start by standing against the wall with your partner facing you and straddling one of your legs — it’ll make it easier for them balance, according to sexologist Eric Marlowe Garrison, author of Mastering Multiple Position Sex.
For more extreme sex positions from Garrison — complete with tips for tackling each one — click here.
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Try prostate massage.
The prostate is a walnut-sized gland located between the bladder and rectum, and it contains tons of nerve endings. Stimulating the prostate can feel so good, some sexual health experts have dubbed it the “male G-spot.”
Here are our tips on finding that special spot, plus our recommendations for the best prostate massagers on the market.
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Lube up.
“Lubrication increases the comfort and speed with which you can penetrate the vagina and grind against the clitoris,” Ellen Friedrichs, M.A., an adjunct professor of human sexuality at Rutgers University, told MensHealth.com. “But sometimes, no matter how turned on a woman might be psychologically, she can have trouble getting wet.”
That’s where lube comes in. Try squeezing a few drops onto the tip of your penis before you start intercourse. We recommend Überlube Luxury Lubricant.
$28, Buy It Here
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Don’t forget foreplay.
Sex isn’t a race. Take time to explore your partner before you get to intercourse. Not only will it build desire, but it’ll help you discover what you and your partner do and don’t like in bed.
“On its own, sex is pretty mechanical,” psychologist and relationship therapist Tracy Thomas, Ph.D., told MensHealth.com. “Foreplay is where you learn what you like and don’t like.”
Check out our tips on how not to screw up your next foreplay session.
Change up the stimulation
When you’re all the way inside her, add side-to-side movement or up-and-down pelvic pressure against her clitoris to vary the stimulation.
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Make a fantasy lottery.
Both you and your partner write five sexual fantasies down on five separate notebook cards. Then head to a restaurant where you can get a booth and some privacy in a public setting.
Over dinner and wine, pull out the cards and make three piles: “yes”; “maybe someday”; and “not on your life.” Put the items from the first two piles in a shoe box, and once a month — or as often as you like — pull one out to try.
YouPorn’s Couple’s Chemistry Quiz is another great way to discover your shared kinks.
Exercise together.
Think of it as fat-burning foreplay. Exercise will raise your dopamine levels and ease your anxiety. Bonus: Your post-run sweat has androstadienone, a testosterone derivative that can spike your partner’s arousal when they smell it.
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Use your tongue wisely.
When kissing, don’t use your tongue like a dart (in and out, in and out). Instead, try varying motions and amounts of pressure.
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Make circles on her clitoris.
An Indiana University survey of 1,055 women found that 3 out of 4 women like it when you trace circles on her clitoris with your fingers or tongue. If you’re not sure what drives your partner wild, ask her!
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Be wary of constant direct clitoral contact.
The clitoris is packed with nerves and super sensitive, so your partner may not want you to touch her there directly.
The clitoris actually extends several inches under the skin on either side of her vagina — like a wishbone — which means you can massage it without applying direct pressure. Trace the extensions with flat, wide, extra-wet tongue strokes, or slow finger zigzags (don’t forget lube). Then rub a slow spiral around the top, drawing closer with each pass. The combination of anticipation and indirect contact will bring her pleasure centers to life.
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Do doggy-style the right way.
Doggy-style tip: For over-the-top stimulation of her most nerve-packed parts, keep doing short and shallow thrusts, rather than deep and fast ones.
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Quit smoking.
There are a lot of benefits to quitting smoking — and one of them is better sex. There’s evidence that smoking can affect the size and strength of your erection, and that smokers may have smaller penises than nonsmokers.
“In addition to damaging blood vessels, smoking may cause damage to penile tissue itself, making it less elastic and preventing it from stretching,” Irwin Goldstein, M.D., a urologist at the Boston University medical center, told MensHealth.com.
For tips on quitting, click here.
Hang out with your married pals.
Looking for the right person? Don’t abandon your married or coupled-up friends. A guy with a spouse or live-in partner has an expanded social circle — meaning he knows more eligible bachelors and bachelorettes (that he could potentially introduce you to) than he did when he was single.
Send her a letter.
The art of letter-writing is definitely underrated. Write your partner one that does not involve a laser printer or an e-mail address. Write what you feel, but the ruling sentiment should be one of gratitude and confidence in your future together. Then mail it to them.
“V” is for victory.
To increase clitoral contact when a woman’s on top, make a V with two fingers, and place it so the point of the V (just between the two knuckles) is directly over her clitoris. Your fingers should come down on either side of your penis as she rides you. This will stimulate the clitoris, inner labia, and urethra — as well as add intensity for you.
Call within 48 hours.
Forget the rules: if an attractive person gives you their number; call or text within 48 hours. Otherwise, you’ll look like you’re scared — or just stupid for resorting to juvenile mind games.
Leave a confident voicemail.
Yes, it’s a little old school, but if you get their voicemail, leave a message. To convey confidence, your voice should be deep and moderately loud. Stand up and hum a little before you call — it will bring your voice to the ideal pitch.
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Don’t immediately head south during foreplay.
During foreplay, the genitals are off-limits. Touch the other parts of your partner’s body, using fingers, a feather, a silk scarf, or anything that turns them on — and ask them to describe how it feels. This builds the tension until you’re both ready to explode.
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Ease into dirty talk.
Want to know if your partner likes to talk dirty? Say something like, “You make me think dirty thoughts.” Ease in slowly. It’s best to test the waters a bit, rather than immediately go for your deepest, kinkiest dirty talk right off the bat.
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Don’t ignore the perineum.
Stimulating the perineum — the area between your balls and your butt — can feel really good during masturbation or sex. “This area is packed with nerve-endings, so it feels really sensitive,” Arlene Goldman, Ph.D., coauthor of Secrets of Sexual Ecstasy, told MensHealth.com. You can also ask your partner to apply pressure to the area during oral sex.
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Shop for new cologne.
If you don’t have a cologne that your partner likes, shop for something new together. It’s a form of foreplay. (We like Jimmy Choo Man Eau de Toilette, $110, buy it here.)
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Hold hands.
It sounds simple, but holding hands can work as an aphrodisiac. It shows your partner you’re devoted, and proud to tell the world.
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Try it on the washing machine.
Everyone wants to try sex standing up, but not everyone has the physical strength to pull it off.
Here’s an easier alternative from our guide to extreme sex positions: Have your partner sit on a sturdy, high-up surface — like a desk or a washing machine — and wrap their legs around your body. Enjoy!
Praise your partner.
Compliment your mate in front of your friends; it shows you’re proud to have them as your partner.
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Boost your testosterone.
Research shows that when you have more testosterone in your bloodstream, your orgasms are more frequent — and more powerful. Here’s how to know if your T levels are low — and, if that’s the case, how to give them a much-needed boost.
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