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Man eats entire bar of laxative chocolate, leaves his wife crying with laughter

It’s the end of the week, it’s hot, the world is burning, and we could all do with a good laugh.

Thankfully, one man has been kind enough to share his highly entertaining misfortune with the world, and so we can laugh at his expense without feeling too guilty.

Author Abby Jimenez, whose debut book The Friend Zone is out now, shared the story of her husband making her worry ‘he was dying’.

We know that doesn’t sound funny yet, but bear with us.

Abby thought her husband was dying because he managed to unintentionally take twelve doses of laxatives.

The mistake was all thanks to the packaging. The laxatives the couple had at home came in the form of a chocolate bar, by Ex-Lax, with the instructions to eat one to two squares.

That’s all fine and dandy unless you open the box upside down, and can’t see the little segments of the chocolate bar. Abby’s husband assumed one square was the entire chocolate bar, so gobbled it all down.

Of course, the poor man’s wife was highly sympathetic… despite being unable to stop laughing.

Abby shared the story on Facebook, where it was promptly shared more than 62,000 times and flooded with comments from others cackling at the mishap.

Abby wrote: ‘So last night my husband took some Ex-lax. Then this morning, some shit started going down. Like, literally.

‘He looked at the packaging and realized that when it said to eat 1-2 squares, it meant the tiny squares, not an entire block.

‘He ate 12 DOSES of Ex-lax.

‘So I’m calling Poison Control because he thought he was dying and I literally cannot stop laughing. I’m barely able to talk, I’m laughing so hard.

‘The guy on the other end probably thought it was a prank call. I swear to God, I hope they record their calls and enjoy that one at the staff meeting later because even thinking about me trying to explain that my 39 year old husband just ate a whole brick of Ex-lax is making me wheeze.

‘The guy was like, “The biggest risks are cramping, dehydration, and diaper rash”.’

Naturally, the mention of diaper rash only made Abby laugh harder, yet she persisted.

‘I was NOT ready for this dude to come at me with diaper rash,’ she wrote. ;I completely lost it. My husband was so pissed (from the bathroom of course).

‘The Poison Control guy kept chuckling and going, “Oh boy. Oooooooh boy. You’ll need to get some Desitin.”

‘I am not equipped to deal with this kind of crisis. I know it could have been super serious, but OMG.

‘And the funniest part of all is he thought he only took a half dose because he only ate one bar.

‘He said the level of diarrhea that hit him was so violent, he immediately knew something was wrong.

‘He said he grabbed the box of Ex-Lax and read it like that scene in the movie Into the Wild when Chris McCandless realizes he’s eaten the wrong berries and he’s going to die.’

Don’t worry, the man is totally fine, and he agreed to let Abby share the story publicly – although we doubt he knew it would go viral.

Hours later, Abby is still laughing.

‘I’m still crying,’ she said. ‘I can’t even drink my latte because I keep choking thinking about it and spitting my coffee back into my mug.

‘I had to lay down sideways in a restaurant booth because I was laughing so hard I couldn’t breathe, three full hours after this happened.

‘I kept clearing my throat on the call with Poison Control like, “Ahem. Okay, I know this is serious. Please continue. AHAHAHAHAHA!!!”‘

Abby’s husband might take some comfort in knowing he’s not alone in having taken far too many bites of laxative chocolate.

The comments section of Abby’s post are filled with people sharing similar stories.

‘My dad recently had to get a colonoscopy and had to drink a little bottle of liquid exlax,’ wrote one commenter. ‘My mom was wailing with laughter all night and when he accidentally scratched a zit on his nose and sneezed, he sh*t himself and my mom peed her pants because she was laughing so hard.’

The lesson here: check the dosage, even if your laxatives come in the form of a chocolate bar.

And if you do make a mistake, be kind enough to share your story with the internet. We greatly enjoyed this one.

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